It was an extremely uncomfortable feeling. Having no control over the situation caused me to feel helpless. It was even worse to know that I was totally unprepared to deal with the problem. What could I do?
I wonder if the orphan-girl, Esther, asked the same question? Going from relative obscurity to the king's palace in Shushan was pretty drastic. She hadn't wanted to participate in king Ahasuerus' beauty contest. She was forced to participate. She had no control over who Ahasuerus would choose as his queen. She was chosen. Orphaned at a young age, Esther was raised by her cousin, Mordecai, a Jew.
Not growing up in the palace, I'm sure Esther lacked all the social graces expected of a queen. As she mastered her new responsibilities, another problem arose. Not just any problem, but a decree went forth in the form of a letter sealed with the king's signet ring, that called for the destruction of "all Jews, both young and old, little children and women, in one day, even upon the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, which is the month Adar, and to take the spoil of them for a prey." (Esther 3:13, KJV)
Esther found herself in an unenviable position. Having no control over the situation was one thing, this situation would claim her life if unchallenged. Based on her cousin Mordecai's advice, Esther had not revealed her national heritage. She must have been unprepared for what Mordecai would ask her to do on behalf of the Jewish people; go before the king to plead for the lives of she and her people.
Knowing the custom of the day, Esther was faced with a grim decision. Since king Ahasuerus had not called for her, if she dared enter his presence, he had the authority to put her to death. On the other hand, if she didn't enter his presence to plead for her own life and those of her people, she would surely perish on the appointed day.
"For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14, KJV) Mordecai's words must have rung in Esther's ears like an alarm. He was right. Esther made her choice. She would go before the king, but not before she had fasted and prayed.
As I faced my present day problem, not in control of the situation and unprepared to deal with it, I vacilated between trying to fix it and trying to give it to someone else I felt was better equipped to deal with the situation. Like Mordecai's good advice to Esther, my husband's advice was to encourage me to "do the right thing." Like Esther, I knew the one thing I could do was pray.
God has already begun answering prayer. Although my challenges are not one hundred percent resolved, having the opportunity to see God at work has infused me with fresh faith in a mighty Father. Today, my Bible study ended with a phenomenal quote by Oswald Chambers: "Tenacity is more than hanging on, which may be but the weakness of being too afraid to fall off. Tenacity is the supreme effort of a man refusing to believe that his hero is going to be conquered...Remain spiritually tenacious." I desire such spiritual tenacity, how about you?